It Had to Happen Sooner or Later

Tonight, I finally worked up the courage to do something I have wanted to do for a couple of months, but for some reason I had kept putting off. It also happened to be extremely hard, but as the title says, it had to happen sooner or later. Denial was not doing me any real favors.

This girl and I had met one morning during sixth grade. She was a new student, and it didn't take long for she and I to become friends and then she met my best friend since first grade and the three of us became inseperable. This girl could take anything that the two of us did and kick it up to the next level. We were constantly getting called out in classes because we just had such a good time together. Then she moved. We didn't see her until the following year, and the shenanigans started over, but mostly at each other's houses. I found myself constantly getting into more trouble with her than I did with the bestie, but no matter what punishment Mom would usually dish out, afterwards, the fun would start over again. As fate would have it she moved sometime between seventh and eighth grade, and neither of us heard from her until we had gone through high school and had started our own little lives. We eventually got back together a couple of years ago and hit it off once more.

Unfortunately, things took a turn this year. She changed in a way neither of us really saw coming. Funny how life events can do things like that. She and her boyfriend decided they were going to get married and being her friends, we teamed up with another friend of hers to help plan the wedding shower and actual wedding itself. First of all, the budget was ridiculous. This other girl and ourselves decided to (and I really don't know why!) split the cost of the shower three ways, spending around $150-$200 each. Not long after that, omg, the fighting started. My bestie didn't have a job at the time and could not afford the pricey items this girl's new best friend wanted for her. She tried to get what she could but the best friend wasn't satisfied. After a few weeks of going back and forth and frustration, venting to me about how all that seemed to matter was money, she drops out of the shower planning. I decided to stay and help. Big mistake. I bought stamps for the wedding invites to be mailed, I split the cost of food, I even went to this girl's grandmother's house to help prepare for the party when the day came. We busted our behinds cleaning and prepping the food and decorating. I did everything I could to help make this day special for my "friend". In the end, all the credit went to the other girl. All the credit! They even took pictures together and it was posted on her Facebook. I felt gutted. This best friend of hers didn't even tell her I had helped.

I went to the wedding anyway, even though truthfully after that and a horrible altercation between her, the new bestie, and my friend, I felt guilty for showing up. I went because I had RSVP'd and it felt like the polite thing to do. Later I got home and logged into Facebook and of course, this "friend" had posted pictures of her special day. Now, mind you, all of the friends of the bride had taken pictures together, including me. Not one picture had me in it. Not one, well except for one where all anyone can see is my back and the back of my head. Naturally, anyone would be thinking to themselves that all that posing for those pics was pointless. I guess now it doesn't matter. Deep down, I knew that night would be the last time I would ever be with her in public. There was such a feeling of finality the whole time. I realized that despite my best efforts, there was really no place for me in her life. The two girls she and her husband are raising have no idea who I am. I was looking through photo albums and it turns out they had a birthday party for one of the girls. I never got my invite. This girl even changed her cell phone number and couldn't be bothered to give it to me. I have done nothing wrong to any of them. But since this all happened, I decided to just quietly slip away.