Things I Wanted to Tell You But Never Did

Hi. I see you deleted me from your friends list tonight, saying I was very rude and complaining that I never talked to you despite your efforts to be a good friend. The truth is, I have been busy with life and since our, well my, best friend we used to share warned me that you were behaving toward me in much the same way before you did what you did to her and her family, I was a bit cautious. But it's OK. I've actually been wanting to say a lot of things to you, but wasn't really sure how.

Lets start with how you perceive the reasoning behind the lack of words. You think it's because of what happened between you and her last summer. It wasn't so much that, although what happened did play a small part. The truth is, we grew apart. You found someone else to be your best friend and moved on with life, forgetting the fact that this other girl and I were your friends long before this new person was. Now, truth be told, yes all of us are human and fully capable of errors, but things really never did recover between us after that. After things blew up with my best friend, who you hurt, I decided to still help you with the bridal shower last summer. Costs were split for the price of food and decorations, your best friend and I cleaned the area of the house that was going to be used, we all prepared (her family included) the food for you and everyone who showed up, and in the end, you gave her all the credit for the work. ALL the credit, for the work, that both of us did. You even posed with her at the party and posted it to your Facebook and said you had such a loving best friend for doing that for you. Forget me.

Oh, and I wanted to be in your wedding, but you never asked or offered a place. I didn't want to go that badly after all that had happened but decided to be a good sport and go anyway. Remember all of those pictures that were taken of all of your friends that day, and all the different poses? I was in those pictures, too. But none of those were posted on your wall. There is one, where you can see the back of my head. Thanks.

After all that was said and done, I was looking through your photos one night and saw without a doubt, that you had moved on and found other friends, so I decided enough was enough and blocked you and your best friend. It was hard, but it had to be done. Thing was, you still had my number and when you discovered this, you kept texting, so I, like an idiot, re added you. Halloween I unfriended you again, after just giving up. You clearly were doing just fine, and so was I. Doing it wasn't so hard this time around.

Then this last time, you said you had come to your senses after your new best friend stabbed you in the back. We messaged back and forth for a while and I put you back on my list of friends, but with caution. Then you kept asking me and asking me to try and convince my friend to be friends with you again. The chances of that happening were slim and you probably knew that. I stopped talking to you mostly over that. I must admit, when you want something, you really know how to go after it.

School started a couple of weeks ago and between that and work, I don't have a lot of time to do much else. I work nights and when I'm not there, I'm at home, reading or studying. You think I was ignoring you, but in truth, well I was actually, but it's school and school is really important. I couldn't allow a lot of distraction. Sorry you felt the way you did, and that you don't seem to understand. Have a nice life.